History Doesn't Have to Repeat Itself (The Stop It Remix)
Last May I wrote a piece titled Stop It. I mentioned the tendency for some people to keep their family history of mental illness a secret. A few of my encounters this month inspired me to talk about that again. Generations of families are suffering because people don't share vital information. These are not easy conversations to have, but they can keep history from repeating itself.
*Grammar police beware. I'm using they as a pronoun out of necessity.
Two of the encounters occurred on the same day. Both were grandparents, both with grandchildren that they were concerned about, but they approached their situations differently. Client #1 had a long history of depression and anxiety which affected their ability to leave the house or interact with other family members for several years. During the past few months their condition has improved. They expressed concern about their grandchild's recent suicide attempt followed by a hospitalization. They decided to use their experience of mental health treatment as a means of encouraging the teen after the incident. They made a "joke" about reassuring the teen that they weren't the only "crazy" one in the family. It was a positive bonding experience for the two of them. This person lit up while sharing the story with me, grateful that they could provide that type of support to their grandchild. Client #2 had a history of depression, anxiety, trauma, and a suicide attempt. They made a lot of progress during the past couple of years, but complained of feeling triggered by their grandchild's behaviors because they were reminiscent of how their child acted at the same age (depressed, angry, having suicidal thoughts). They didn't want to share this information with the grandchild because they thought it would be too much for this young adult to handle. (So it's okay for them to handle a suicide attempt, psychiatric hospitalization, suffer in silence, or go to jail for acting a fool in public? That's what ran through my mind). Thankfully they asked for my opinion. I encouraged them to talk to their grandchild about the family history as a way to normalize the process of seeking help. History doesn't have to repeat itself. Another encounter involved the mother of a young adult patient who acted oblivious when asked for more details about the patient's sibling having similar symptoms at the same age, and reluctantly shared that another family member had a history of mental illness which seemed to spontaneously resolve. Stop it. Acting like nothing is wrong won't make it go away. Discouraging people from seeking help only makes things worse. Just to be clear, treatment isn't always medication. Yes, there are some natural/herbal supplements which can help to manage some (NOT ALL). But they work best if they're used early in the process. If one watches a person decline like their cousin's uncle who lived in the back room before seeking treatment, chances are that medication will be recommended; it's not the end of the world. During a recent visit a parent named off a list of family members taking psychiatric medications to an adult child as examples of people living productive lives while having a mental health diagnosis.
Why do I care so much? It saddens me to see young people's wings being clipped before they have a chance to fly. I just want them to have a fair chance at life because the odds are already stacked against them. They can't find jobs, many can't afford to move out of their parents' houses, and they may not have access to healthcare at the rate things are going. Another consideration, unhealthy people don't work; how does this affect the economy? And when people can't cope, they turn to self-medication.... Did the first war on drugs ever end, or has it been continuous for the last 30+ years? Can we just say no to that? That's history that absolutely does not need to repeat itself.