Mental Photo Dump
I haven't written anything since 2019 for a few reasons: career burnout, transitions, and a variety of life events. I thought my muse packed up and left, that writer's block had taken up residency in my mind. Last week I saw a snippet of a Shonda Rhimes saying there is no such thing as writer's block, one just isn't writing. So this is me just writing to clear my mind.
The burnout: I love what I do for a living but it's heavy sometimes. Depression, anxiety, trauma, suicidal thoughts, people talking to you any kind of way, and management issues… Just when I started to turn things around along came COVID and the sudden transition to 100% telemedicine.
Transitions: Year number 4 of a 5 year financial/credit restructuring plan I was given 60 days to move out of the house I was renting because the owner wanted to live there. I just needed 9 months to meet my goals so a friend let me use an apartment for a couple months until a room remodel at my mother's house was completed. Did I want to be there after 19 years? Hell no. But was I going to meet my financial goal faster? Yes. Alright 6-8 months and I'll be out of there. Month 6 loan pre-approved and shopping for real estate. Month 7 mom had a stroke so I became a caregiver/house manager/hostage overnight. Yes I'm a nurse, but I stopped doing bedside care in 2004. That's all I'll say about that.
Life events:2020- Worked on a judicial election campaign. Served as co-chair for a women's wellness fair that got cancelled due to COVID. Mom had a stroke. Uncle had a silent heart attack. We lost a family member to COVID.
2021-Mom fractured her shoulder. My sweetheart had COVID. I was reaching breaking point, my cousin died, I regressed and did some DUMB stuff that damaged a friendship. Mom fell, fractured her femur (they initially missed it and sent her home), had emergency surgery, went to a horrid rehabilitation center (how you at a rehab and getting weaker?), and tested positive for COVID.
Some good stuff happened too, but I'm not writing about it today.